JOURNAL ENTRY 6.. The last for the semester?? :(

*left to right- me, Diba, Alia

Picture perfect isn't it?


These are two of my girlfriends from my diploma years in Melaka. We grew close after all of us pursued our degree's here in Shah Alam. The glowing beauty in the middle is Diba Ruslan. This picture was taken on the 27th of May 2008. This particular date was memorable for her as she walked graciously on stage to receive her scroll as an ANC student. Tears blurred our eyes as we were all were so proud of her. It isn't easy to achieve what she has achieved as a student of Bachelor in Accountancy. Nonetheless i couldn't miss this important day for one of my closest girlfriends as she has always been there for me too. As you can tell in her beaming face, she is more than contented right at that moment. Her face is full of satistisfaction (*from her success, not the kisses!), feeling the achievement, all her gruelling hard work obviously has paid off. She deserves every bit of her success i reckon.

It was an insanely hot day as we were at the lounge outside the 'Dewan Sri Budiman' at the Menara. If the camera were not digital, i think we must have used up 10 roles of film in equivalent to how many pictures we took that day in all corners imaginable at the Menara! Like what some people call it 'Camera whores' .. which i think that term is absolutely absured. But yes.. i am one of them... hehe..

Later the others joined us for a little celebration at Delicious, Bangsar. The food was mouthwatering. Again i could Diba's face was glowing with warmth and happiness. All in all it was such a memorable day for such a special friend. :))

POEM - MY SILENT AGONY

Imagine being a child prodigy who is not understood by people around you. You long for friendship and a normal life.

MY SILENT AGONY

Am i some kind of freak?
They look at me like i am sick,
Their faces filled with hatred,
I scream inside and ask, 'Is this what i have been fated?'
Did they think i enjoy such attention?
If only they knew how hard it is for me to receive love and affection.

My mother said I am special,
I am a prodigy in equations,
But when i look at it now,
I'd rather be invisible some how.

I still vividly remember,
Last gruesome September,
I scored perfect in add math,
After school, i was beaten up till i thought it was my last breath.

Im overwhelmed of such brutality in this community,
Why do i receive such hostility?
I am just as you are!
Please hear me before i go too far,
Of ending my life by letting myself being runned over by a car.

I want you to dismiss the fact that i am gifted,
I want to feel that i am accepted,
I long for friendship,
Anything but people who are fascist.

So now do you see,
I am so lonely,
I just want to be free,
So please befriend me.

A POSTCARD TO AN IMAGINARY FRIEND

Oh my fickle mind..

Dear imaginary friend,

Do you see what i see?

How can u compare this ever,

To the most beautiful place like no other.

Remember when i asked:

"When will i ever get this golden opportunity?

Can i trade this polluted city,

Along with all its contaminations,

And its fumes, smoke and man made creations,

For a paradises' perfect picture?"

However now that I am here,

I keep on saying 'Oh my dear!',

Which is exactly what i feared.

Realizing i am so lonely,

In the end, escaping from here is what i think only.

Fickle minded that i am,

Like the sea and the sand,

In the mornings, the sea rises,

In the evenings, it slowly flushes,

How i wish i could go slap myself among those bushes!

(erk.. ok im stuck, this was the best i could do for now :( ..)

A POSTCARD TO ME

I WISHED YOU WERE HERE

"I dig my toes into the sand,

The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds,

Thrown across a blue blanket,

I lean against the wind,

Pretend that I am weightless,

And in this moment i am happy,

I wished you were here."

My dear Ella,

Do you remember this song?

Forgive me if i am wrong,

But isn't this exactly what we both wanted for so long?

Now that I am here,

I sincerely wished you are near.

Every morning I go down to the pier,

As i sit very still, it dissolves all my tears,

While the cool breeze washes away my fears.

In the evening I lay on the golden sand,

I dream I would be holding your hand.

You remind me of the deep blue waves,

It has a powerful, forceful presence just like your ways,

Lifting up my spirits was all you gave.

Now I bid thank you,

Because in life there is only a few,

To find someone as special as you,

Even far apart we grew,

But still, on this paradise beach, i only wished i was with you.

(hmm.how i suddenly wished there was such a person who existed and did send such a postcard like this to me.. sob..sob.. yes i know.. im pathethic..hehe.. )

A POSTCARD TO ME

WHY?

Dear ella,
I resent to wonder,
Why is this picture without ya.

I threw a dance party,
It was so hearty,
Yet you decided not to show.

This was my friend Peter,
He thought he could meet ya,
But there he danced alone.


He was dressed all white
Oh my, what a dashing sight,
Feeling hopeful as he waited.

I have to admit,
I almost threw a fit,
I was hoping you'd make it.

As the night subsided,
He was not delighted,
To know you have not attended.

He kept smiling,
But i knew he was lying,
Disappointment had caught up with him.

I kept him alive,
By dancing by his side,
But by then, his heart had already faded.

You hurt my friend,
so do not pretend,
That you do not comprehend.

Now i just thought you'd know,
I aint never gonna go,
To any more of your important shows!

GOODBYE!

A POSTCARD TO MY OLD FRIEND

REMEMBER WHEN..

Remember back in the days when our feet were still right,
We would work all day and danced all night.
Remember you had Martha, your foxy partner,
While i always danced with myself, but I never wondered.

Remember when we grooved to swing music, we danced till we were high,
Until our knees were weak and on that very floor we lie.
Remember one particular night, i wore all white?
You made me do the chicken dance, it was such a fright.

I miss u buddy, i wished you were here,
No words could ever describe what i am feeling here.
Yes i know the days have long ended,
However i do feel that i am absolutely contented.

My wonderland

In the morning when the sunrise,
I hear the birds chirping outside.
The four walls are painted lavishly in blue,
With alot of light bursting through.

Nothing could ever possibly compare to my own space,
When i am there, i feel my life is in place.
Its my place of calmness, my place of zen,
Everyday i look forward to go back there again.